the course of a river has many meanders...

i just came to discover that life is weird..
its annoying,its bloody goddamn queer. ]
but hey its just dandy for me.
I've lived it till now in far worse circumstances.i mean just analyse the number and the type of extra-ordinary horrible sticky embarrassing situations I've gotten into. my life now has none of it. it's just a calm smooth one.it has its quiet ripples. the ripples which propagate as waves which pass on the amplitude and increase radially outward, and finally fading to nothing.
(shit!!! i need sanity...physics ain't doing good to my system is it depper?!!...oh btw..i still don't get y u wanna call yourself that..)
ok anyway getting back to life..

and u know wat. right now, more than anything in this world, i want those situations back. yeah, they made me feel uncomfortable,queasy, got me into loads of trouble but hey! i had fun. i truly enjoyed every bit of each of them. they added spice to my morbid life. its not like anyone could get themselves into those types of situations. till date i am yet to find any person with the capability to do so. after a lot of thinking i came up with two reasons, for why other people can never get themselves into those situations.
1. i figured they don't enjoy it ( yes, i know...Du-uh!!!)
2. somehow, nobody i mean absolutely nobody is able to react as peculiarly as me.(*sigh* even i fail to comprehend how i come up with those unique expressions at he perfect timings...*siighhh*)

so anyway...
right now i feel life is boring. but yet again i know that its not true. for even this life has its challenges. only they are of a different kind. it is quite a big challenge for me to be very serious,sober about things. i still ask myself Wat's the point in doing so. and yet again i have failed to come up with an acceptable answer.
i have always wondered why is it that i do wat i do. and if let free without these rules and relationships and duties that bind me will i be any different?
someone once told me a quote -
"freedom has a thousand charms to show,that slaves,
however contended shall never know"
reading it, i was speechless for a while.
it slowly sunk in. i thought about it and its reality trickled its way into my head. I'm still amazed with it. it still moves me.but now its different. in a way it reminds me that I've grown up whether i like it or not.I've matured into a person from being a child. that innocence has let go of me, trusting me to find my own path.it also led me to think, that no matter how free i might think i am, i shall always be bound, if not by other people and things, bound by my own thoughts,ideals and morals. i will always be bound by me. and these binds are wat makes me wat i am.
therefore,i dedicate this post to everyone out there probing,testing the waters of freedom for a footage.